Dealing With the Doom

A collection of daily practices to manage the stress and anxiety of, well, everything

Hi all, I’m trying something new for this post. Instead of riffing on a theme, or sharing a report of something cool I listened to or read recently, this post is simpler, and I hope useful to you.

Essentially, it’s a list of practices that I do to stay sane in a world that often seems like it’s on fire. Hope you enjoy.

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If you know me, you know I have a history of depression and anxiety.

Since age 11, I’ve dealt with these “mental illnesses” and worked at managing them.

We can talk about the fallacy of “depression as chemical imbalance” in another post. Whatever the origins of my anxiety and depression, I’ve experienced them for a long time.

I’ve tried all sorts of things to manage them: medication, meditation, diet, moving, yoga, etc. Some things work better than others. At age 37, I feel I’ve finally found a mix of practices where I can manage it.

I’ve been doing this for 26 years. That’s a long time to work at something. If I’m a master at anything, I am a master at handling my own depression and anxiety.

But only relatively so, as we’re living in a time of multiple co-occurring crises(cost-of-living, climate, culture wars, to name a few).

I know I’m not the only one. It makes sense that we would feel more depressed, and more anxious in response to living in the midst of these daily–and seemingly neverending–crises.

One way to define these feelings is feeling the doom”, and it is a normal and common response to the times we are living in.

We can further define feeling the doom as a panicked state or anxiety spiral, caused by or activated by external factors such as the news, social media, job difficulties, money issues, etc.

Maybe you’ve come across this term before, maybe not.

Regardless, you may be one of those that regularly feels doom. “Feeling doomed” can come in the form of deep-seated anxiety about things like: the rising cost of living, the effects of global warming, politics, and so on.

For those new to “doom” as a newly popular term in our culture, there’s:

• “doom-scrolling”

• the doomer meme(“typically characterized as an early 20's male who suffers from depression and has a bleak outlook on the world”)

• publications such the Doomer Optimism podcast and the “Ok, Doomer” newsletter.

And let’s not forget the Doomsday Clock.

Doomberg @DoombergT

Doom is booming

Disclose.tv @disclosetv

NOW - Doomsday Clock has been set to 90 seconds to midnight, the closest it has ever been to annihilation. https://t.co/Zb8QHb1Fql

“Doom” is trending, and will likely continue to do so.

We might consider the prepper community as the original doomers. Conspiracy theorists too. Lots of overlap there, admittedly.

This post is a more practical one than others I’ve published here, which may have been more abstract, thoughtful, and exploratory.

This post is about ways to process and deal with feelings of doom.

Practical Techniques for Dealing with the Doom

I think it’s helpful to identify both: 1) sources of stress and anxiety, and 2) techniques to help re-regulate and settle one’s nervous system.

For sources of stress: we can mitigate and shape them, to limit the ways they impact us.

And for the things we can’t change: we can develop practices for when we’re feeling unsettled.

Here’s a quick-and-dirty list of sources of stress:

1. Financial worries

2. Job/income-generation

3. Friends and family

4. Health

5. News/social media

6. Psychological issues

7. Chores

These sources of stress are overlapping and interrelated. And they’re also not all negative. You may derive great satisfaction and meaning from your job. You may also feel a deep connection to your family and friends.

There are things on this list that may both feed and deplete us in different, depending on our own circumstances.

Now, let’s assume that your job, friends and family, health, and so on are fixed.

For example, you have to work for a living, pay your rent or mortgage, spend time with family and friends. For the purposes of this post, let’s assume these things are a fact of life.

So if we can’t find a better paying job, or refinance our mortgage, or delete our social media accounts, how do we deal with feelings of doom and anxiety–feelings that are sometimes overwhelming and panic-inducing?

Said another way: What are ways for us to re-center ourselves, and to re-regulate our nervous systems when experiencing feelings of doom?

An Incomplete Collection of Practices for Dealing with the Doom

Here’s a set of practices that help me process when I’m feeling overwhelming anxiety about that state of my life, and the world.

1. Meditation

2. Yoga

3. HIIT

4. Going for a walk

5. Phoning a friend

6. Cooking

7. Writing/making art

8. Reading

I’ll go through these in sequence, to share the ways I like to do these things, and to reflect on how they help me ground myself when I’m feeling that old doom-y feeling.

Meditation

I typically set a timer on my phone for 50 minutes and sit cross-legged, with my eyes closed. I focus on my breathing, on my breath going in and out of my nostrils.

Jody⚡️ @Kalieezchild

All you need to know about meditation can be said in three sentences: 1. Pick an object like an internally-repeated phrase or the sensation of your breath at your nostrils. 2. Put your attention on that object. 3. When you see you've lost focus, patiently bring it back.

My goal is to do this practice once a day.

I’ve been meditating off and on for almost 15 years. Sometimes I’ll go for months without doing it. Occasionally I’ll get in a groove where I do it once a day for 2-3 months.

It can be hard to get into a regular routine but I’ve read that meditation’s positive effects compound over time(“from states to traits”), so that’s an incentive.

Another meditative practice I like is Metta, which I’ve found to be restorative and centering.

Metta means “loving kindness”. It’s a meditative practice for generating more love in one’s self, and the world.

I learned about Metta through Tasshin Fogleman, a meditation practitioner and teacher.

If you’re looking to explore Metta, Tasshin leads a guided meditation every Saturday night.

I also like the Metta app, and use it sometimes. It has a bunch of recorded guided Metta meditations. It’s free, although donations are accepted.

Yoga

I’ve been doing yoga for about as long as I’ve done meditation.

I work from a computer, and have been doing so for 10+ years. Yoga has been crucial to maintaining my health, in spending hours and hours craned over a laptop.

Our bodies were made to move. Just like you have a “food diet”(i.e. you have to eat to live), you have a “motion diet”(you have to move to live).

Oddly enough, I can’t find any documentation on the term “motion diet”. I did not coin the term, but I find it resonant.

My yoga practice is typically 2-3 times per week. I usually just watch one of the videos I have saved in a Google Drive folder. Send me an email or a message and I’ll send you a link :)

I like Iyengar yoga because it’s based on “active poses”, and I find it helpful for managing lower back pain. I like Yin yoga when I’m in the mood for something restorative.

HIIT

I do HIIT workouts 2-3 times per week, with kettlebells.

I shoot for 45-min workouts, but depending on time, I’ll often just do a 20-minute one.

My favorite HIIT videos are from Juice and Toya on Youtube. They’re great, check them out.

Going for a Walk

I haven’t done it much since I’ve been at Cabin, but one of my favorite things about living in NYC is going on walks.

I have an Apple Watch, and I like the “fitness goal” feature on it. You can set a certain calorie goal, and there are three rings to “close” every day, by doing a certain amount of exercise.

Despite the dorkiness of the Apple Watch, I find I walk and exercise much more when I wear it.

It also prompts you to stand every hour, which I like. When I’m writing I can sit for 3-4 hours at a time and forget to do that.

I typically like to go on 1-3 mile walks. Often I’ll listen to a podcast.

There’s been research that going on a walk after you eat is good for you, so I try to do that.

I think part of my ideal life would be having the option to go on a leisurely walk after every meal, and typically doing so.

Phoning a Friend

If “connection is the basis of mental health”, then there is no better practice than phoning a friend when you’re feeling doomed or out of sorts.

I’ve typically been bad at this, and keep to myself when I’m feeling bad.

I’m taking this on as a practice, because: a) I’m realizing that my friends actually do want to hear from me, no matter what state I’m in, and b) I am sensing into the loneliness that many if not all of my straight male friends experience as they get into their mid-30’s and beyond.

I am becoming a very big fan of calling a friend, simply because you feel like it. For years, I didn’t see the point. It makes sense now.

My friends Will, Casey, and Raffi seem to be really good at this, at phoning a friend for no other reason than just to call.

I feel like I’ve come around to doing this more from seeing it modeled by them. Thanks guys!

Cooking

I really enjoy cooking, especially for others. Dinner parties make me happy, ecstatic even.

I’ve got a stock collection of recipes I like to make. Usually I cook 2-3 per week.

If you come over to my house, here’s the menu.

Writing

I write every day. I publish this newsletter 3-4 times per week.

I also typically try to do a gratitude journal practice every morning. Actually that could be a post in itself, but I recommend it as a practice!

I’m not sure I can point to what transformations or effects it’s had but it just feels good, man.

To do it, just make a list of the things you’re grateful for, then repeat every day.

Reading/Making Art

These are in the same headspace for me, in that they both put me in a flow state, and I do them during leisure time.

Right now I’m reading: Madness, Rack, and Honey, by Mary Ruefle. It’s a collection of her lectures about the nature of poetry. Sometimes heady and abstract, often profound. I read it when I was at SFPC and I’m re-reading now.

As far as art, this week, my friend Will and I recorded a song written by an AI. It’s called “AI Love”.

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