Hey everyone, just wanted to send a quick update on Things That Should Exist.
I’ve been dealing with some substantial depression(that seems to have coincided with quitting coffee?).
I haven’t been publishing as much as I’d like to last week and this one. However, one of the great things about having a small newsletter where 95% of the writing is free/donation-based, is that it’s fine to do this. It’s fine to take a break.
I may still publish the odd short thing this month, but I realize most of my energy will be spent driving back to NYC from Austin, and settling in once I get there.
Considering IFS
I’m looking into trying IFS to treat my depression.
I tweeted this recently and got some thoughtful responses.
Last week, I wrote this post on the concept of “Don’t Talk, Don’t Trust, Don’t Feel”. DTDTDF comes from Al-Anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics. The gist is that, in dysfunctional families, it is not safe to talk, trust, feel. Here’s a link to the twitter thread.
There’s a connection between IFS and DTDTDF, and that’s feeling. IFS is about talking to your “parts”(ie “your different selves”), and working with them. In IFS, you approach your parts with curiosity and listen with compassion, to re-integrate them into your core sense of self.
I’m still learning about IFS, but excited to try it.
My dear friend, Ben, has a notion that IFS can be done on a peer-to-peer level and I think this is an exciting idea.
Romanticizing Your Life
Also, I wanted to thank my friends Will and Ashley for lending me their(Ashley’s) copy of Just Kids, by Patti Smith. It’s the illustrated edition, lots of great photos and images.
I’d always avoided the book as just another NYC memoir. I’ve read my share: Please Kill Me, The Lonely City, Positively Fourth Street, list goes on.
When my partner and I were visiting W + A, and getting ready to leave, Will and my partner were talking about how much the book meant to them, and how formative they found it.
I borrowed the book and read it in a couple of days. Probably a good thing to read before plunging back into New York for a couple more years.
Patti Smith’s New York is long gone, but I feel I absorbed a lot from her book, in terms of living your convictions, and romanticizing your own life.
I talked about this with my partner. We talked about how depression feels like the inability to effectively romanticize one’s life.
Sometimes–when you’re depressed–that energy has to come from external sources, like actual romance. An actual romantic relationship is preferable, and reading a book by one famous artist about her relationship with another famous artist is also an enjoyable experience.
Both of them together, though? Chef’s kiss 👌🏼